on happiness as an ADHDer

I was unhappy for a long time. For most of my childhood and teens, and even early twenties, I was unhappy. Well ‘unhappy’ is an understatement.. I was very depressed. 

Nowadays I am less unhappy. I have my depression completely under wraps and my anxiety mostly under wraps. I have made good headway with my ADHD symptoms. Yet I still find myself not content. I still find myself unhappy.

I have been thinking about what it means to be happy. I wanted to make sure I hadn’t fallen into the classical trap of thinking that I will stop being unhappy and be happy when I’ve finally achieved that one goal/ get that one thing I wanted. 

Hell, can you even AIM to be happy?

All you can try to do, is to do things that you think will make you happy but that falls into the above trap. There is no guarantee it will work and for most people, the goal just ends up shifting, leading to endless pursuit of trying one thing after another.

Smarter people than I have claimed that happiness is more about the journey than the destination. That instead of pursuing happiness, you should just do your own thing, and you will find happiness. There seems to be some truth to that.

It hit me recently that happiness for an ADHDer, for me, is even simpler than all that. I am unhappy when I am bored. I am happy when I am doing things I love. ADHD is incredibly annoying but it really can simplify things.

Hyperfocuses and hyperfixations are hollow and fleeting.

Doing novel things for novelty is tiring; everything get old after a while, so you have to keep finding new things to do forever and ever.

What’s left is to pursue what truly interests you.

It can be a creative output, as creativity is infinite as it comes from within. For some its music and for others its writing.  Or an athletic pursuit, like Michael Phelps, who attributes his swimming prowess to his ADHD.

Something you can keep honing.

That really seems to be the way. Successful ADHDers have all mentioned that to get a grasp on your ADHD, you need to fully pursue your interests and this seems to align with everything.

I’d thought that simply continuing with blogging would allow me to be happy but I really hadn’t fully grasped that it also requires constantly challenging myself. I need to do more and keep pushing myself. It’s the growth and challenge that makes us happy.

So that seems to be my current conclusion: pursue what you truly love and keep honing it and you will find happiness along the way. It’s all we can do after all.

(I think that’s what most people say the ‘secret’ to happiness is anyway. I guess its just ‘less complicated’ for us because of our ADHD, ironically, as we feel bad when we don’t do things that interests us, so we have no choice but to do it)