We develop a lot of beliefs over our lifetimes, of how things are and should be. These beliefs are built up by our experiences and how we perceived these experiences. These beliefs then go on to influence how we approach future experiences.
Beliefs are important to consider when we are trying to improve our mental health. As ADHDers, we can subconsciously assume (i.e., believe) that everything thinks like us. As everyone doesn’t seem to be struggling like us, we can feel worse about ourselves, with the assumption that we’re struggling because of some inherent fault rather than a disorder.
When we’ve always been or thought a specific way, we don’t even consider that there might be an alternative way. We don’t tend to question it.
A silly yet very relevant example of mine is food related.
I always used to make sandwiches with two slices of bread. However, this wouldn’t fill me up and I would always feel hungry soon after. Naturally, I never questioned it.
Why would I? ‘Everyone knows’ that a sandwich is made with two slices of bread.
Then one day, a thought hit me… ‘why don’t I just have three slices of bread instead?’
So, I did, and I’ve never looked back. Why had I never even considered to eat another slice of bread? Why had I never questioned this belief?
Our beliefs are neither set in stone nor are they always based on reality. These ‘irrational’ or ‘faulty’ beliefs can completely dictate how we live our lives, and we might never even question them.
But from my experience, finding and working on these faulty beliefs is required for self-improvement.
Another faulty belief I’m dealing with currently, even as I write this, is perfectionism. A belief I had was that I should/ could only publish what I perceive to be perfect. This led to me rarely writing anything as I never believed it to be good enough. This ‘perfect or bust’ mindset is probably common with ADHDers, as we feel we need things to be perfect to reduce the chance of making mistakes and facing criticism.
So, it’s important to remember: just because we’ve always done something one way, doesn’t mean it’s the only (or even the correct) way.