RSD, or Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is the name given to the strong sensitivity to perceived rejection and criticism in people with ADHD. It is not a part of the DSM, though, none of the emotional dysregulation caused by ADHD is. It affects most, if not all ADHDers, and certainly for me, was/ is the worst aspect of my ADHD till I got it somewhat under control.

A year ago, during my undergrad dissertation presentation, I forgot what a specific mathematician was famous for, so I panicked and called him ‘a smart dude’ to an audience of university lecturers. And I also forgot my supervisor’s name. Cue the waves after wave of awkward RSD!

So this is how I beat it back:

1) Keep reminding yourself that it probably didn’t go/ happen as badly as you think. You have RSD and you know your brain exaggerates. So you know that there is a very very high chance that it didn’t go as bad as your brain is making you think it did.

2) Reframe the event. Your RSD makes you think of the event in a certain negative way. So forcibly reframe it. Look at it from other perspectives.

A common one for me used to be when people didn’t reply to my messages immediately, I would get hit with feelings of rejection. Reframed, I try to think of all the other reason they hadn’t replied. Maybe they were busy. Maybe they are feeling down. It could be hundreds of other reasons, unrelated to you.

3) Think all the things you did right. Sounds simple but thinking about the positives can help you calm down. 

Black and white thinking can make you think everything went badly if you made a few mistakes. However, that is rarely the case so trying to think about the positive helps quite a bit.

4) Talk to the other. RSD is about perceiving rejection or criticism. Many times, there mightn’t even have been a rejection, rather we just wrongly assumed there was.

So talk to the other party. Their actual thoughts will help clear your RSD most effectively.

Back then, after the presentation, I reminded myself that some of the others giving presentations did much worse than me and that I did manage to get all of my points across. And when I talked to my supervisor afterwards, they told me I did quite well. 

Just an hour later, I was feeling much better. 

And I believe I ended up getting a B for the presentation. It hadn’t gone as badly as RSD had made me feel. It NEVER is.